Tuesday, January 6, 2015

Premiere End Chapter 1

               Awful Start

I've reworked most of the details and also changed the perspective so that it would fit with the information..
I'd love to know your thoughts..sorry for taking it so long.... 

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It’s just like any other day for Clive Parker as he reluctantly attends to his high school graduation.
He wouldn't think twice to not attend his graduation if not for his mother that force dressed him and threatened him to cut his internet connection and his subscription to Premiere End Online so he had no choice but to obey.

He’s the kind of person that would do anything for his games, though unwilling to his mom’s orders; Clive always did his chores, homework, projects and anything that his mom would ask of him. Clive’s mom surely knows how to deal with his laziness.  

But even though Clive is always opposed to doing the things that he considers a bother, there’s not a single task that can be considered too hard for him to do.
He’s a genius who understands the concept of most problems he encounters by just simply staring and analyzing it.

 In their recent exam just weeks before their graduation Clive easily placed on the top 20 students despite not studying and only reviewing right before the exam.

“Clive!”
“Yo!”
“Hi Mrs. Parker. . Oh right, Clive I’ve been looking for you. We need to get in line. The graduation will start soon”
“Kaaayyy…  Mom I’m going. . . “
“Jeez, at least act a little excited… Just go”
“Yaaaay I'm so excited… is that okay?”
“You little..”
“Haha..  see you later”

Clive waved his hand and went together with Mark to where their other classmates are.
The graduation started and finished in a flash.
Those years of hard work was commemorated in an event that signifies that it’s the end of that part in his life and a start of a new one.
After the graduation you can hear people crying from all over the place.

It was a really emotional moment for a lot of people but not Clive.
Instead of feeling sad, Clive felt irritated because he was supposed to be playing all day long and that was hindered because of his graduation and also because his classmates are making such a big fuss over graduation.

(Seriously? Is your friendship really that shallow? It’s not like you won’t see each other anymore) he thought to himself.

Clive doesn’t have that much friends rather he only has one friend.
Mark is the only friend he have and it started way back when they were still just little kids.
Way back then Mark’s mom dropped off Mark to Clive’s house for babysitting; they played together and from then on they became close friends.

Mark is a good person. He’s really popular within the school because of his title of being the captain of the basketball team but mostly the reason is because he can get along with almost anybody.

Mark is 18 yrs. old, about 175 cm. tall, muscular, light brown skin, has short black hair and brown eyes.
He has average looks compared to most people but because of his personality and intelligence, a lot of girls have a crush on him.

On the other hand Clive is 16 yrs. old boy who loves games; he is younger and more handsome if you compare him to Mark. He has chestnut-brown ear-length hair, white skin, brown eyes and has a height of 169 cm.

He skipped a grade and is considered a pretty boy if some would say.
But even though he is smart and attractive, many people don’t like him because of his attitude.
Clive is a really rude person by nature. He would always respond with metaphors and sarcasm whenever someone tries to talk to him.

Occasionally there’re some girls who would flirt with him but he casually drives them away by saying “Are you stupid? “ or something like that.

But it’s not like he wanted to talk that way, it’s just merely because his line of thought is different.
It’s different in a way, where he thinks that everything is supposed to be common knowledge.
He would often try to restrain his words but ends up saying something offensive like “Seriously? How stupid are you?” or “You don’t know something that simple?” or “Why would you even ask me that?”
He would often question himself “Why don’t they understand such simple things?”

Clive hates idle chats and thus made him easily annoyed with people besides his Mom and Mark.   
He cannot even make a proper conversation with people so he gave up on making friends and devoted his time to doing something that he loves, playing games.

“Finally! Home!”
“Are you sure you just want to stay at home? It’s your graduation; we could go somewhere if you like”
“It’s fine. I’m not interested”
“Okay.. If that’s what you want... Well, there’re things that I need to take care off so I’ll be out for a while.  Don’t play too much video games, understood? I’ll be back by 6”
“O~kay!”

Clive dashed to his room to turn on his computer after talking to his mom.
For him the graduation is just a pain in the ass that obstructs him from playing Premiere End Online.

Premiere End Online is an MMORPG that is really popular today.
The game has a post-apocalyptic setting where a certain bad guy summoned monsters all over the world to kill all humans and conquer the world.

People tend to enjoy this kinds of games wherein the Human race is about to become extinct and Clive is no exception to that

Clive has been playing the game since its close beta and became one of the top players.
It was a typical game where you increase your level by killing monsters. It also has a job system which includes Cleric, Mage, Hunter, Knight, Guardian and Assassin.

He played as an Assassin named Cleave and became famous in game because of his skill in PVP.
Although he’s a strong player, he doesn’t really have that many friends either inside the game because of his lack of tolerance with annoying conversation.
But it’s not like he cares that much of what people thought of him. He just wants to play the game.

“[whisper]Rabitz: Hey! Cleave”
“[whisper]Cleave: Yo!”
“[whisper]Rabitz: We’re gonna hunt tier 7 items. You in?”
“[whisper]Cleave: Nah, I’ll pass.  Already have those items”
“[whisper]Rabitz: All of it?”
“[whisper]Cleave: Yep.”
“[whisper]Rabitz: But it was released  just 2 weeks ago. Man you’re fast”
“[whisper]Cleave: Well duh?”
“[whisper]Rabitz: haha.. I see.. well then, later”
“[whisper]Cleave: K”

Hours passed by and it’s already evening. He remembered his promise to have dinner with his mom in the evening.

Usually, Clive eats alone in the house because his Mom is really busy with work. Clive would often just take some food in the fridge, reheat it and bring it to his room to eat while he’s playing.
But it’s not like he hates his mom because of that.

Clive understands that his mom is doing her best for the sake of them both. Clive’s mom Tanya Parker raised him alone because of his worthless father who abandoned them while he was still inside his mother’s womb. Perhaps that is the cause of his bad attitude.

“Clive! We’re having dinner in 30 minutes”
“Okay! Coming”

Clive’s mom is already back at home and is preparing dinner.
Clive logged out from the game and is browsing the internet for funny pictures to kill some time while the food is not yet ready, and then a disaster happened.
A strong earthquake occurred.

It was so intense that everything fell and scattered on the floor.  Clive’s computer fell on the floor and broke his monitor. The lights were blinking and some of them even broke.
After the intense earthquake he immediately went to check his mom.

“Mom!! Mom!! Where are you? Mom!”
Clive was shouting while he was running downstairs

“I’m okay! I’m okay!”
With his relief, he saw his mom under the table with the broken dishes on the floor.
It was a huge mess but he did not care about that, as long as his mom is safe.
Clive felt really relieved as he sat down on the chair and faced towards the ceiling. And with a huge sigh he said “Thank God you’re safe”

He really cherishes his mom but the incident is not yet over.
A creature jumped to the kitchen through window. It was a creature he had never seen before.
 It resembled a wolf but its fur is color blue and has a single horn on its forehead. It was a viscous creature that demonstrated intent to kill both them.
“Gruuaaarrr”

The wolf like creature growled as he glared at Clive with its red eyes. Clive was frozen with fear. He was supposed to run but he couldn’t because he felt like his feet are glued to the floor.
Clive felt a cold sensation coming from his spine.

His legs loss its strength which made him fell onto the floor. He felt weak.
He couldn’t do anything but sit there and gaze towards the creature’s raging eyes and then suddenly
The wolf pounced over him in an attempt to bite his neck.

Clive closed his eyes. He thought that he was already done for but he wondered why he didn’t felt anything.
“Aaaahhhh”
He heard a scream so he opened his eyes.
Upon opening his eyes he saw the figure of his mother lying on the floor bitten by the wolf from her shoulder.

“Mom!”
“C…C…Clive…. Run!”
She threw herself in front of the wolf to stop it from harming her son. She tried to fend off the wolf but it was useless because the wolf is too strong that it didn’t falter as it bare its fangs into her shoulder.
As the blood drips onto the floor Clive became really terrified. He couldn’t do anything.
“What should I do… What should I do…”

He felt useless as he looked around and muttered those words. While looking around Clive saw a knife lying on the floor.
He immediately picks it up and stabs the wolf eyes. The wolf was hurt so it released Clive’s mom from its fangs and backed off.
“Grrrrraaaarrr”

But Clive didn’t stop. He chased the wolf and continued to stab it to its head, stomach, and neck and anywhere without regarding where it will hit.
The wolf stopped moving and after a while it then began emitting blue light all over its body.  The light engulfed the wolf’s body and reduced him to nothing but air.

Congratulations you are now a Newbie Adventurer”
             New Functions added
             Function: Status
             Function: Inventory
                                     Function: Equipment
             Function: Skill
             Function: Party                                                   

“Wha….”
Clive was puzzled for a moment because of a window like screen suddenly appearing in front of him. He remembered his mother who was laying on the floor bleeding.
Clive carried his mother to the couch while he is crying

“Mom… I’m going to call for help”
“C..Clive…My son…”
“Mom.. Don’t say anything.. Wait here, I’m going to..”
“D..Don’t.. Just stay here with me”

Clive’s mom knew that she’s not going to make it. She’s loss a lot of blood from the bite of the wolf earlier. She knew that saying a proper goodbye is the only thing that she could do at that moment.

“Clive, listen to me… I’m not going to be around much longer”
“What are you saying? You’re not going to die”
“Listen to me… It’s a shame that I’m not even going to see you get married. Well you don’t even have a girlfriend so I guess there’s.. aghhh..”
“Mom, please don’t talk anymore…”

Clive’s eyes are welling up with tears.  He cannot accept the idea of his mom dying so he cried while realizing how worthless he is.
“C..Clive.. one more thing….. Be a good kid, I love you”

Clive’s mom said her finals words to Clive while smiling. She smiled because she was able to protect her son from the wolf. She was satisfied that she’s the one who dies not her son.
“Mom?.... Mom…  Wake up… don’t sleep…  Mom?... Answer me…  Please….  Don’t leave me”

Clive wept like a baby. He was crying as he gazes upon his mother’s face.
And then light started forming all over Clive’s mom. It was the same light that formed around the wolf earlier, a blue light.

“What’s happening?  Mom?“
Her body started disintegrating fast into thin air while Clive tries to collect his mother’s body with his hands. But the body disappeared still.

It was the saddest moment of his life. His mother died and he couldn’t even give her a proper funeral.
He thought to himself Why is this happening ) as he wept while sitting on the floor of the dimmed living room.

And then he swore to himself.

“I’m going to kill every last one of you monsters”



20 comments:

  1. that took a while.. hope you release the others quicker to catch up.. like your ff.. keep it up

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  2. I like the change, good work.
    Hope for fast releases.

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    1. thankyou ... I'll try to update as much as possible.

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  3. Good job. Seems much better written and more thought out. Besides a few errors (fell instead of fall and off instead of of) really well written and good read. Can't wait to see where you take the story.

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    Replies
    1. thank you.. the typos were caused by me constantly checking and editting then end up missing a few parts hehe

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    2. I understand that, and you did a great job in making it as good as possible. Just wanted to point out those small two errors you missed since I know how hard it is to stop your own errors.

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  4. so you made it a vrmmo haha

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  5. tragedy in first chapter, but surprisingly i didn't hate it.
    thank for FF, love the remake

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  6. Still waiting for chapter 2:(
    Faster releases pls

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    Replies
    1. sorry.. had trouble coming up names... and scenarios that wouldn't complicate things in the long run.. plus I was busy.. sorry..

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  7. This seems like a better start than the last one.

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  8. whoa wtf, I made a really long comment with my opinion and it didn't show up! D:

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  9. Nice!, needs work but nice.

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