“So that’s your story huh? Pretty depressing so let’s not
talk about it anymore”
“Uhh yeah.. “
“I could see that you want to know more about what’s
happening”
“Uhh yeah..”
So I asked Max some questions
“Okay, I will tell you everything I know if you promise to
party with us
Doesn’t have to be forever, just for a while at least until
we get a new attacker”
“Okay, I accept “
“Great, So where should I begin…. Hmmm I guess I’ll start
from there but first let’s eat”
We entered the store with the broken glass from earlier and
sat behind the counter
Max handed me some of their rations and started telling me the
things he know
“Okay for starters, All the people that died on the first
day isn’t really dead”
“WAAAHH?! What do you mean?”
That really gave me a shock
I don’t know what’s happening but finally something good is
happening
But somehow I’m getting a bad feeling.
I know it’s a good thing but there’s something strange
“Yup! It’s good news but there’s a catch so it’s not
entirely good news because somehow all the people that died on the first day became
an NPC or something like that”
WHAAAAT?
what’s with that people becoming NPCs?
I thought that nothing more will ever surprise me but this
definitely shocked the hell out of me
“How is that possible?”
“I don’t know either. Have you played MMO games before? “
“I don’t know either. Have you played MMO games before? “
“Yeah”
“ What I’m telling you is that they act like NPCs, If you
talk to them they will respond with the same words… Exactly the same”
This is really weird
But considering the fact that people are not really dead is
a good thing , it also means that Mark is still alive somewhere
“So who are you searching for ? your parents? Girlfriend?
Friends?”
Oh God, I forgot about my parents… I’m such an awful person
The first thing that I should’ve done is try to contact
them, but communication is down so I really can’t do that and also they’re
living in the country side which makes it twice as hard to know if they’re
okay.
I’m worried
“Uhmmm parents”
“Did you contact them?”
“What? How?”
“What? How?”
“In your friend list, You could use that to communicate with
other people”
“Wait… I don’t see any”
“Oh right... You
still haven’t gone into the town right?”
“Ahh~ yeah”
Max told me that I will start being an adventurer when I
enter the town and a quest box will appear in front of me which will instruct
me to go to the Adventurer’s hall and there the orientation starts
Also, after the orientation I will be given extra function
on my account and that includes “Friend list” “Adventurer’s Billboard” “Guild”
On simple terms I could only contact my parents once I’ve
become a full pledge adventurer
“So that’s all that I know”
“Is that all?”
“Ofcourse that’s not all. I still have some more information although they’re just mere speculations”
“It’s okay, knowing more is better than not knowing anything”
“I see your point, but it’s not for free”
Greedy bastard.
Nothing is free with this person.
It is reasonable though, because having more information is
an advantage
“Never mind, I won’t ask anymore”
“Don’t be like that.. haha..
I’ll give you a discount….”
There’s something that I’m curious about
I guess he knows the answer to that
“I’ll ask some questions, in return I’ll give you everything
I have”
“Okay!!! Deal!”
I took Max and we separated with the others and asked him a
question
“So tell me. What’s their story?”
“I see, are you curious why they’re fighting?”
“Ahh… yes”
This guy is really sharp
He really knows what’s going inside my head
“I see, Okay I’ll tell you”
So he began telling me their stories
“The first one I met was Lisa, I saw her being chased by a
monster and helped her”
“Oooh.. So you’re
some kind of a Hero or something”
“Hmm… I guess that’s not the case. I did threaten her the
same way I threatened you”
For a second there I thought that you are a great person
What a manipulative bastard
He said he was heading to the Town because he figured that it
is a safe place after seeing how it was formed out of nothing and then he saw
Lisa and helped her
He dragged Lisa to the town and when they arrived at the
border of the Town the guards attacked the monsters that were chasing them and
they were saved
“This is becoming more and more like a game”
“Well, isn’t it
interesting?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“hahahah!”
You lunatic
This isn’t interesting at all
“That fellow over there is an amazing person, I met him
inside the town while I was gathering information and when I met him he was
acting like he was having fun.”
“ You mean Cycle?”
“Yeah, actually most of the information that I gave you came
from him”
He is enjoying this?
My head can hardly function when all of this started and he’s
enjoying this
He must’ve had a screw loose or something
“Lastly is Bob, we met him just a few hours before we met you
We saw him while he is fighting and recruited him”
A Manipulator, a Sadist, a Musclehead and a Silent person
What a party
“We’re not weird or anything, We have our own reasons for
fighting”
Seriously? Don’t read my mind
“And what is that reason?”
“Tha… t…is…. a….Se…..cret…..”
“Somehow you annoy me”
“Why thank you! hahaha”
That’s not a compliment
I still need to know more
Right, I need to ask about the NPC thing
“One more question”
“Sure”
“How did you know that the people who died became NPCs?”
“Ahh… about that”
What are you hesitating for?
I just want to confirm if what you’re telling me is true
“Well… Lisa asked me to not tell anyone… “
“Come on… I just
need to know if what you’re telling me is true”
“Hmmm… Okay, I’ll tell but promise me you won’t tell Lisa
that I told you”
“Okay..”
Max gestured with his hands to come closer and whispered
into my ear
“Actually, Lisa and I visited the weapon shop this morning”
“and then?”
“Turns out the blacksmith is Lisa’s father”
“Haaaaa?”
I looked at Max while with a shocked expression.
I can’t believe it
Must’ve been so shocking for her seeing her Father in that
condition
Not recognizing her and saying the same words over and over
again
“and that’s her reason for fighting, don’t tell anyone okay?
Or else..”
“You don’t need to threaten me.. I get it”
I can totally
sympathize with her
Sulking over spilt milk won’t help restore the world but
moving on and fighting might somehow make a difference
It might take years to find a solution to this problem but
giving up isn’t an option
“Finish your lunch…. We’ll be moving soon”
“Okay”
I need to know more
I need to find a way to fix this mess
After eating we headed to the Town
we faced a lot of monsters on the way but since we have a good formation, facing the monsters wasn't that hard and I gained a few levels because of that.
Another great chapter and keep up the good work man! O and just wanted to point this error out for you ... “Lastly is Bob, we met him just a few hours after we met you We saw him while he is fighting and recruited him” ... after should be before. Hope that helps (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
ReplyDeleteoh.. sorry and thank you :D
DeleteThanks for the chapter!
ReplyDeleteI think I can draw Lisa being shocked seeing his father
ReplyDeleteOr maybe just drawing clive with the 4 person in his mind
Deleteokay.. I'll leave it to you.. I'm quite busy with translating at the moment.. hahaha
DeleteI'm having trouble with designing a manga like wolf, so the first illustration might take a while
DeleteIm thinking that the horns shouldn't be too large.. because it's still a level 1 monster... I imagine it having a goblin kinda horn.. :D
Deleteokey dokey
DeleteThis was the doodle design i make, but i think the horn is still too good for lvl 1 http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/337/5/4/horned_wolf_3_by_hikao27-d88j23y.jpg
Deletewith this, it feel too puny http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2014/337/1/9/horned_wolf_by_baragon_4_by_hikao27-d88j2e5.jpg
Deletethe 2nd was was what I had in mind :D thnx thnx thnx :D
Deleteneed to wait for a while it's hard to draw
Deletedon't worry man.. no one's rushing you :D.. I'll beat them to death if they do :D haha
Delete" we faced a couple lot of monsters on the way "
ReplyDeleteSo it is a couple or a lot ? :p
I changed it.. hahaha.. for the sake of detail.. :D
DeleteA bit curious, was English your first language? The content and plot are good, but sadly the quality is about the same as something translated, where it feels like it's losing a lot of the intended communication through translation. I'll give some examples here, and if you need proofreading in the future I don't mind helping:
ReplyDelete“How did you know that the people who died became an NPC?” =>
“How did you know that the people who died became NPCs?”
Keep plural, otherwise it seems that several people are becoming one single NPC
I looked towards Max while wearing an expression of being so shocked =>
I looked at Max while with a shocked expression.
This whole sentence should be changed most likely, it doesn't read properly, changing it feels odd however so I don't have any great suggestions. It's really the type of sentence that should only properly exist in third person "Clive was staring at Max, with a shocked expression".
we faced a a lot of monsters on the way but since we have a good formation, facing the monsters wasn't that hard and I gained a few levels because of that. =>
we faced a lot of monsters . . .
Max told me that I will start being an adventurer when I enter the town and a quest box will appear in front of me which will instruct me to go to the Adventurer’s hall and there I will be oriented =>
Max told me that upon entering the town I will begin my life as an adventurer and a quest box will appear in front of me which will instruct me to go to the Adventurer's hall where I will receive orientation
1)You want to group the things together that make sense, 'enter town'->life as an adventurer starts + quest box appears, instead of putting enter town in the middle of it
2)No one uses the term 'oriented' outside of perhaps nautical or survival means. They do however use the term 'orientation', to mean what you want, and that is fine.
There's a lot more and I could go back and do previous chapters as well, but as many suggested before I still feel you're much better off going third person. I am partial to the mix of first/third person that goes on in most of LN (TnY, LMS, Arifureta, KnW, etc), and I enjoy it thoroughly, but it doesn't translate too well as most people instead would consider it more along the lines of narration.
I would also heavily suggest marking who is talking next to each quote, similar to TnY.
I see sir thank you very much I really agree to your points but the only problem is about changin it to third person... I find it hard to because I've never really read a novel in third person.. I haven't read enough novel to understand the writing, I've only read Re:monster, Mushoku Tensei and Shield Bro; I usually read manga so that doesn't really help.. I don't wanna change the first person aspect because I have no choice but everything else I will try to follow.... and also my first language isn't english.. Thank you.
DeleteOh okay then, you're doing great for English not being your friends language then. Third person isn't something I see often in LNs at all, I'd be hard pressed to think of one I've read that's in third person.
DeleteI can help you turn this to a playable game if you want (basically a "choose your own story" game with graphics).
ReplyDeletePS: I like where the story is going
PS: I'm a programmer, but I can help with the graphics too if it goes well. Here's some illustrations I made for another project http://postimg.org/image/l3g1u8zjx/
Wow.. That would be awesome.. but I need some more time.. I mean I don't wanna bite more than I could chew in here.. sorry that was just overwhelming for me at least for now..
Deleteok, you can send be a message on bill1903@gmail.com if you want to ask something about that
DeleteOkay... I will.. Let me at least have 3 or more volumes first :D
Deleteoh f*** cant wait for the new chapters hahahahaha
ReplyDeletegetting greedy about this LN dang!
I'm sorry.. I prioritize translations for now.. but I'll be sure to release a chapter tomorrow my time :D
Deleteill be waiting :D
Deleteyou don't mind put a note on the sheildbro page, when you update a new chapter?
ReplyDeletePut it on japtem more people can read it.
ReplyDeleteKeep up the good work! Please release chapters more frequently. This is hella good!
ReplyDelete